My name is Natoyah and I am a Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Practitioner.
This is my story...
When you fall over and cut yourself, you know what you need to do. You clean the wound and if you need to, you put a plaster on it. The process is there, we all know it and we all trust in it. I never knew how to heal my mind or even how to look after it.
I was always very confident as a child, but it was easy to be. I was in that protective parental bubble. By my early twenties it soon became obvious to me that I wasn’t sure who I was on my own. I was never really in tune with my own mind, my own thoughts and feelings.
I became very influenced, very easily and within a year had dropped out of university. I was in full on self-destruction mode and the only way to do that was to go on the missing list. I ended up sofa surfing and had a strong, unhealthy relationship with all things toxic. All I focused on was anger for not measuring up to someone else’s expectations. I never stopped to think about my own. I was too angry.
When I had my son, it did calm down for a while but eventually developed into a post-natal ball of mess. I had a lack of financial stability, emotional maturity and an ‘I don’t give a shit’ attitude. I thought I had no place in the world, I just wasn’t important enough.
I was so out of control that I was at the ‘lost cause’ point but I wasn’t the woman or the mother I wanted to be, and that part hurt.....